A Brave New World of dating

Having a martini is not a good idea when you are jet lagged. You start to see everything in soft focus, in this case Elma, who was telling me what happened to her during the two weeks I was out of town. She's babbling away about how she broke up with this guy she was dating because he went out with another girl. Oh-oh, time to wake up, order a coffee and start explaining American dating rules again. They still seem strange to me, but at least I think I get the gist, while Elma, who's from Barcelona and has been here for a short period of time, has no idea they even exist.
"Hold on a second, Elma, are you guys exclusive?"
"What do you mean exclusive. We are... you know... going out."
"But are you just dating or has he said 'I think it's time we stop seeing other people.'"
When I saw her face, I knew I had lost her. She had no idea of what I was talking about.
You see, we foreigners don't understand the complexities of American dating. In most countries, once you do the deed you are supposed to be faithful. It may last two days or a lifetime, but—while it lasts—you are taken and if you still feel the need to taste, let's say, other flavors, it's considered cheating. There is no trial period.
"So, do you mean he has the right to sleep with other girls while dating me?"
"That's exactly what I mean, he can do whatever he wants until you guys become exclusive and it's fair game."
She's in shock. Holy crap, better order another martini.
"By becoming exclusive do you mean becoming his formal girlfriend?"
"No."
"No?"
"Not until he decides you are his girlfriend. There are five stages: dating, dating exclusively, girlfriend and boyfriend, fiancé and, finally, wife/husband... Hum... Actually six stages: add ex-wife and husband, go back to go and start all over again."
"And he's the one who decides everything?"
"Yes, if you pressure him too much he will run away in fear of commitment, and will call you pushy."
"This is idiotic."
"I know."
"How was I supposed to know all of this?"
"By reading The Rules."
Silence. Laughs.
"You are so funny. I almost believed you."
"It's not a joke, there really is a book called The Rules."
Silence. Again.
"This is idiotic."
"Yes, we already agreed on that. But look at the bright side: you also get the chance to sample and get a test drive before you choose. On the other hand, if you don't like it, you can always date a foreigner... one who has not been here for long."
"That book... what was the name again?"
"The Rules. Or you can get Dating for Dummies. It's more up to date. The Rules is from the 90s."
Good thing our round of fresh martinis arrived. I think Elma really needs it.