Buenos Aires in numbers

Number of days I was there: 5 1/2
Number of days with sun: 1
Number of days with "End of the World Type Thunderstorms": 4 1/2
Number of times people tried to rip me off: 5
Number of times they succeeded: 2
Number of taxi cab drivers that could not stop talking: 7
Number of taxi cab drivers that remained silent: 1 (the one who ripped me off)
Number of taxi cab drivers totally insane: 1 (remember, the horses of the apocalypses were already running freely around the world)
Number of times I heard the world "boludo": 239
Number of times I heard the expression "hecho bolas" (Destroyed to bits in a slightly more vulgar fashion): 62
Number of alfajores I bought as present: 40
Number of alfajores I was able to eat: 0
Number of times I heard Argentinean fight: 37
Number of delightful, sweet Argentinean women I met: 4 (a total record)
Number of obsecene/ridiculous acts/comments from the government: 7
Number of pesos it takes to eat the best media luna in BA: 3 (less than a dollar!)
Number of handsome Argentineans: ...could not count.

All in all, I. Am. So. Happy. To. Be. Back. Even though it's like 25 F here and 90 F there.

The moderator of the research group...

...looks exactly like the "girl" from Millionaire Matchmaker on Bravo. Like 5 years younger, slimmer and burned at a tanning salon (extreme tanning/burning is a local obsession.)

What Argentineans women say

I'm all day in focus groups with Argentinean women. They're very opinionated and say things like:
-I don't like other women. I don't like most men. I don't like people who smoke. They stink. I don't like people who drive fast, who buy too much, who use make up, who talk too much...
-I don't believe in advertising. No. Never. Ohhh... have you seen the latest with [name of celebrity]. I love it!
-You can tell me whatever you want, I don't have to believe you, but if it makes you happy, I'll tell you: sure, it's great!
-I love shopping. When I have X product in my hand, I feel good.
-My husband? Who gives a sh... For him, I get the cheapest. He doesn't notice.

Genius idea to bankrupt corporate America

Infiltrate focus groups and when they ask, would you pay twice as much for this product that offers you nothing new? Answer: Not double, tripe, sure, invest in it...lots. The more useless the product, the best you rate it in the investigation. Hum!

Worst non-janitorial job ever

Stand in model for celebrities, so they can caliber the light and camera focus. As soon as they're ready for real action: out. Very sad.

What Argentinean taxi drivers think of the pork vs. viagra issue

-I can't believe we have her as a president, yes, I know, we voted for her, but all the same...
-Pig... pig herself. I'm not eating pig. I want steak. Everyday. Chicken? No way. Chicken is for terminal patients at hospital. Don't give me chicken. I will hit you.
-Viagra? Who the f... cares about sex. I care about eating.
-You know, I think with insurance, viagra might be cheaper than pork anyways.
-We have the worst president in the world! What? Chávez? Well... you're right. We've the second worst president in the world.
-She's just one more in a long list of bad ones. Everything bad started with De La Rúa.
-What the f... At least they raised our prices and we can make a living. That will be $16 pesos [which 2 years ago was like $11].

Daily Spanish for Dummies

When I got to the hotel in BA they gave me a thick envelope. When I opened I found the following mini pamphlet: Daily Spanish for Dummies. I guess the people organizing the meeting decided Wellendorf didn't sound very Latin. So now I'm learning to say:
-Es un gusto conocerle or "ehs oon goos-toh koh-noh-sehr-leh"
-¿Qué hace usted or "keh ah-seh oos-tehd"
-No me moleste ¡por favor! or "noh meh moh-lehs-teh pohr fah-bvohr"
Whath'sh uph with allh theh hs?

Reciprocity agreements

When you come from a number of Latin American countries to the US, many times you have trouble getting a visa and the fee can be quite hefty. Argentina decided it was time to create a reciprocity visa agreement. They don't put problems to give you a visa, but charge you $131 to get it (Australians and Canadians pay less). They don't even tell you about the visa until half an hour before landing (but they accept credit cards).
My Belgian side was horrified at the cost even though I would not be the one paying since this is a business trip. But when I came to the booth and they saw my passport they told me: you don't need to pay. All the Americans stared at me, anger flashing through their eyes.
This is one of the days it feels great (and cheap) to have a Belgian passport.

And finally it doesn't matter anymore

Lately I've come to terms with being from nowhere. It's like after years of struggling, it doesn't matter anymore. Is it because I will apply to the US citizenship in a couple of months (if tax refund is enough to cover the fee)? I don't think so. It's just like one of those torturous relationship you endure for years and suddenly you wake up and you are done with it.
That doesn't mean I won't keep up laughing at cultural absurdities, it's just that... well, there is no more longing to belong. I've never belonged anywhere, and I will never do. There are tons of people like me. We didn't chose it, it just happened.
Oh, therapist, what are you doing to my dark sense of humor!

Totally hooked on

Saul Bellow. My best discovery lately in my quest of mastering American literature of the 20th century.

Just Read

A few books that I enjoyed greatly:
The Master, Colm Toibín. Had no idea Henry James HATED Oscar Wilde. This book is... art. I felt grateful for its beauty and tried to read as slowly as I could.
The Man in the White Sharkskin Suit, Lucette Lagnado. Talking about smart and cultivated immigrants. This non-fiction story is amazing. The father went form socialite in Cairo to sell ties in the NY subway. Never underestimate the deli guy or a cab driver.
Olive Kitteridge. Stories of small town America (New England). Lovely, although slightly obssessed with suicide and depression (Don't know the New England culture enough to see if that's cultural).

The pain of being smart

The other day, at the standing room at the opera, we met a young Korean guy, who was visiting from Arizona where he studies. He was your tipical Asian hipster nerd, srot of cute in a geeky way, and extremely smart. The poor thing had no girlfriend (and probably few friends) because (according to him):
-Beautiful blonde chearleaders didn't go for Asian geeks.
-The other blondes neither.
-There were very few non-blondes at his college.
-He didn't even liked blondes.
-He only likes hot Korean chicks.
-He had an accent, liked maths and quantum physics.

It's always tough to be (and look) smart. Yet I think it's even tougher to be a smart immigrant.

This post is full of non sequiturs. Sorry.